You're at another wedding. As the wedding party leaves and the caterers clean up the leftover food, you marvel at the fact that your last single friend has gotten married. During the wedding, no one dares ask the obvious question, "When is it your turn?" And as you sit there thinking the very same thought, you ponder the benefits of buying a cat and naming her Wiskas.
Love and marriage in the twenty first century are still illusive for many people who are single and hating it. With the advent of Internet dating, it should be really easy to find, date, and marry as many people as you'd like. However, for most, they have not been successful because they have geographically confined their search for love. Yes, there are the stereotypical relationships that involve some American wanting a mail order bride. However, there also are real relationships that turn into marriages between people from two different countries and cultures.
First of all one common belief among American men is that foreign women know the purpose of getting married and so they try to work toward that purpose to make the marriage work. For example, one of the best-kept secrets in dating cross continentally is courting Russian and Polish women. When dating a woman from Eastern Europe (especially from Poland as most girls from Poland tend to know English well and the Western Culture is not "shocking" for them at all), you will not have to deal with the bitterness that is found in many American women, as Russian and Polish women still believe in the idea of true love. In addition to their innocence, Polish women and foreign women in general do not have hang ups about gender roles, as do many American women. So they work toward making their husbands and the marriage happy.
Another benefit to marrying or dating a woman from a different country is that it will turn you into a more generous person. Only in the United States is there this desire to work toward individual happiness and wealth. Using women form Eastern Europe again as an example, many of them are reliable and generous of heart. Their society teaches them to think about the community rather than just themselves. This trait is very beneficial in finding a suitable marriage partner. If you date and marry a woman from Poland, then you definitely won't have to worry about your wife's selfishness because they are very loving and giving women. For instance, James* met Agnieszka through an online website that matches American men with Polish women.
According to James, "It's been the best decision I have made in my entire life because she is so giving to me and my daughters." And Agnieszka is happy too. She says she loves that James treats her like a Queen. The couple's plans include a wedding later this summer.
Conversely, like anything in life, you must be careful before entering long-term relationships with women from different countries. One common stereotype that still rings true, unfortunately, is that future wives from foreign countries will use men to gain citizenship. But this problem is no different than when you date an American woman who may be using you for money. Simply taking the time to get to know the woman that you would like to marry easily solves this problem. David* said he was a little nervous about committing to Agnieszka because he had heard horror stories of being left only a few weeks of marriage.
David says, "Once I got to know Agnieszka, I knew that she intended to be with me for life. It wasn't an act. She really loved me, and it showed in her actions toward me. In the end, she become my Polish wife."
David said he learned that when men are used in this way it is because they have been physically abusive to his wife, and happened a lot more in the mail order business where women are overwhelmingly abused. He further distinguishes between the two ways of meeting a wife. Mail order wives never meet their husbands other than the one time. The husbands do not view them in any other way but as a housewife and a sexual partner. This is not wise, according to David.
"You leave yourself open to being taken advantage of by the mere fact that you know very little about the person you will marry," David adds. "Incidentally, American women are just as likely to take advantage in some way--you have to be careful either way."
Another problem that may interfere in the relationship is cultural differences. However, David says that cultural differences really become minimized and once you realize that you love that person so much you work through those differences.
"When you court a woman from a different country, the experience can be mind blowing-at least was for me," David continues. He and Agnieszka have been married 20 years and have four grown children.
All in all, the benefits outweigh the dangers in choosing a wife from another country. If you choose to date someone from another country, you open yourself up to learning to give and receive love, and you also will have a dependable wife and mother. The dangers in dating someone from another country (from Poland in this case) are the same dangers that face you when dating someone online or someone you meet at a club or bar. These dangers can be avoided by spending quality time with the woman and getting to know her. Are you still nervous? Well, your other alternative is a cat, endless days of kitty litter, and countless other weddings where you wonder, "When is it my turn?"
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